XXX DVD Reviews

Number One problem with sooo many lesbian movies out there….the lesbians tend to be these goth looking chicks with piercings and tattoos and such obvious dykes that the appeal is lost for anyone watching that isn’t a hard core lesbo.  The Pussy Playhouse series harkens back to the porn of yesteryear and each and every chick in their movies has always been just as stunningly hot and fuckable to guys as they are to girls and Pussy Playhouse 14 is no exception to this rule with a cast of amazingly stacked slutty babes getting it on with each other scene after scene.

If you’re a normal red blooded dude, then you know that even if they aren’t fucking you; there is something just so appealing with an incredible turn on factor to watching a couple hot chicks getting it on.  Since all women are bisexual (whether they realize it or not)  your chick is bound to think so too and maybe after watching Pussy Playhouse 14 it will plant some chick on chick fantasies in her head and you will end up with a bit more intensity and fun in your own sexual relationship.  One of the best things about the Pussy Playhouse series is that they put that extra bit of heat into their pussy on pussy/tit on tit/lips on lips action by putting an extra chick or two into each scene.  Five scenes…tons of slutty big boobed babes…a buncha toys and no inhibitions between them all…now if that isn’t a formula for a super hot jackoff flick I don’t know what the fuck is.  Five rock hard sperm saluting cocks-up to the babes of Pussy Playhouse 14

Holy Coca-Cola It’s Lola Batman…yknow I saw some stats a week or so ago and evidently (and I’m not sure if this is a good thing, a bad thing or a who the hell cares thing) one of the top rising niches in porn is she-male movies/pics.  Not transvestites (dudes wearing dresses) but the whole operated on and changed to a woman with a cock kinda deal but having been born a dude.  As Phil Hartman often said when playing Ed McMahon on Saturday Night Live; “weird wild stuff Johnny.”  So for those of you who are riding this niche…or for anyone who has considered checking out the appeal of she-males She-Male Face Cream 2 is worth taking a gander at cos just like everyone’s favorite Spaghetti Western it mixes the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sadly, or maybe as a forewarning that not everything you are about to see is hot, She-Male Face Cream 2 starts us off with the ugly.  A very weathered looking and not very feminine she-male gets it on with some guy who looks like Mr. Rogers on tv (back when he was alive) and sure she is kinky and he is sub and kinky as well…but hey mixing ugly chick with dick and old vanilla looking dude together is just not hot…The good comes into play after this when a she-male who I would have taken for a chick and hit on myself gets in on the action and even though it’s with the first one manages to get you hard with her erotic sexual duality.  Things get even better in the next scene as another actually hot and feminine looking she-male gets it on and shows that she is as much of a cock-slut orally and jamming her as any chick with a pussy can be.  Sadly then we get a scene which can only be called the baddest ugliest part of the movie where we get to see some ’she-male’ who looks as womanly as any defensive tackle on the Oakland Raiders done up in women’s lingerie and even having the action here with the semi-hot one from the second scene doesn’t improve it’s appeal in any way.  My advice…just skip this scene. Then She-Male Face Cream 2 ends off on a positive splooge inducing threesome where regardless of gender the heat comes off your screen as threesome action including a chick (with a pussy and strap-on) getting in on the she-male action brings an intensity sure to make almost anyone come.  So if you’re into this scene or simply curious what the possible appeal is, this one’s for you and gets a kinked out four cocks-up

Watching Public Defamation was like some surreal acid trip after watching National Lampoon’s Road Trip or something…I mean, I dunno everybody’s got their like kink or whatever you wanna call it, but all the leather and the sets for this movie, it was just so out there man especially when they say public…I guess they have a different definition of public than I do, but whatever.

Anyways, like I said this movie was a trip, at times it felt like I was watching some 1990’s Geena Davis action flick…I mean, this chick gets her tits and her ass totally slapped and beaten on and she’s all ‘Oh Oh” totally loud, and you’re never quite sure if it’s pleasure or pain. I know for sure if somebody was smacking the nipples on my chest like that it would sure as hell hurt. So we get three surreally sadistic scenes with no actual sex, but more smackdowns than in professional wrestling…not quite my deal but if you dig it or you just wanna watch some chick getting her tits smacked and then finally getting revenge on the smacker, even though she was enjoying it anyways, then check it out.

But for me, Public Defamation gets one cock-up simply cos it was a surreal trip and probably the type of porn that Quentin Tarantino watches.

Well even though the title is Im fucked, this review wont fuck  it up more.  Instead it actually gets a rousing and arousing recommendation.  My only problem was…you have this many sluts…and yeah these chicks are major sluts big-time, and this many scenes..they could have saved some money and made a better movie by just having all these babes together playing with each other and licking each other out while getting fucked and sucking cock and it would have been a freaking epically splooge-worthy orgy movie.  But while Im fucked did not reach that porn pinnacle of perversity it was incredibly hot with action that rolls from one scene to another leaving you to shoot your load each time.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I will end up saying it a hundred zillion more times…the key to super hot porn is super slutty chicks who dig showing the camera what they can do and Im fucked delivers a six pack of this sure-fire satiating formula of fuck fun with six babes who are pros at handling a meaty fuckstick…whether in their mouth, pussy, ass, hand or wherever they can stuff it and play with it.  You may have a hard time getting to number six though since scene five does push the limits of the previous four scenes with a hot MMFF foursome that is guaranteed to make you cum each time you watch it.  Im fucked has the kind of sluts that porn needs a lot more of and gets a well deserved four out of five cocks-up.

As readers of this blog should know by now, I’m a true Milf lover and can’t get enough of those insatiable older appetites for sex, and I totally dig their undeniably passionate methods of getting it on.  Real milf’s love cock in every single hole, but that doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes have a preference, and the milf sluts in Blow Me 13 are intoxicated by the sensation and flavor of cock pumping between their sweet lips (and I mean their sultry kissable mouths, though their other lips are also incredibly inviting) and they show their passion by sucking down on these big juicy cocks with obvious enjoyment.

Now Blow Me 13 is a rare find; cos even though there’s no truly hardcore sex, the blowjob scenes are exceptional and VERY plentiful and will totally make your cock rock hard and in need of a warm wet spot to slide it in.  We get treated to 18, yep that’s right EIGHTEEN, scenes of frenzied face fucking the likes of which I haven’t seen in quite some time.  Over and over again these milf babes swallow every single inch of the meatsticks thrust in front of their open hungry mouths and work those cocks to volcanic cum explosions…some of them swallowing, some taking the fruits of their labor squirted all over their faces and bodies…whichever way they took it my cock was straining for some of that action and pulsing for sweet release.  Like I said, Blow Me 13 is for those of us who thoroughly enjoy watching a hot hungry milf mouth work a decent cock with eager tongue and lips to sweet satisfaction, and even though there’s no real hardcore action beyond the oral pleasure, this movie stands tall (just like your cock will) by providing so many dirty milf cock-sluts to sate your appetite that you’re guaranteed to shoot at least one load while you watch.  This movie made me shoot three solid loads (I just wish I could’ve sprayed them all over these pretty milf sluts faces)  and so Blow Me 13 gets four super-soaked cocks-up.